If Only U Knew

If I Could Relive that Week... 

I wouldn't erase the misunderstandings.

I wouldn't take back the tears.

I wouldn't even change the chaos.

Because somewhere between deadlines, checklists, phone calls, and a heart that forgot how to slow down...

we learned each other.

A little more.

I know there were moments when it felt like my work came before you.

I know there were times when all you wanted was a little piece of my attention...

while I kept chasing a programme that I wanted to run perfectly.

I'm sorry.

Not because I loved my work more than you.

But because...

sometimes, this is simply who I am.

When I commit to something,

I disappear into it.

The world becomes quieter.

People become blurry.

My mind only sees one finish line.

It's not an excuse.

It's just... me.

Yet through all of that,

you stayed.

You never demanded more.

You never asked me to become someone else.

You simply...

stayed.

And I don't think you realise what that did to me.

Your smile...

lifted every ounce of tiredness I was trying so hard to hide. 

Easily melts away my anger 

I tried so hard to stay angry and sulking yet im smiling with you... 

Your laughter...

made me believe I could survive another hectic day.

made me forgot what im angry about

made me wanting to look at you more 

One simple,

"Good luck, Dinda."

Somehow...

those three words became stronger than my exhaustion.

Stronger than the pressure.

Stronger than every fear that I wasn't doing enough.

You probably thought you were only wishing me luck.

But to me...

you were giving me strength.

Among hundreds of people,

my eyes never searched for the stage.

Or the guests.

Or the crowd.

They searched for you.

Because somehow...

if you were there,

everything felt a little easier.

You have become so much more than someone I love.

You are my safe place.

My quiet strength.

My courage before every challenge.

My calm after every storm.

My backbone.

And maybe...

without even knowing it...

you became the reason I always wanted to give my very best.

I never wanted to hurt you.

I never wanted to make you feel unimportant.

I never wanted to make you worry.

But sometimes...

I was simply being me.

Still learning.

Still growing.

Still trying to become someone who knows how to love a little better than yesterday.

So...

please...

be patient with me.

Stay with me.

Grow with me.

Laugh with me.

Let me learn your heart the same way you're learning mine.

And if one day I become too lost in another busy week...

don't ever doubt this.

Even when my hands are full of work...

my heart has always been holding yours.

So if you're willing...

don't ever let go.

Because...

I know I never will.

Perhaps that difficult week was never meant to break us.

Perhaps...

it was Allah's gentle way of teaching two imperfect hearts

how to love each other...

a little better

than the week before.